Like most people I am constantly up on poodle news, what’s going on in the poodle world, who’s who among poodles etc.. It seems national media attention is always on the poodle whether it be a story on poodle scientists or a in depth interview with Joe Lieberman’s poodle “Hadassah”…. Alright most people don’t care about poodles, in fact there are very few people who have seen a glimpse of the breme and bizarre world of poodle breeding. I only stumbled on this touch of insanity when Googling “poodle” for a Photoshop job. I panned quickly through pages of freak poodles before finding a normal looking poodle, realizing along the way that there was an easy phoned in article there. So now without further ado I present you with a parade of poodles made repugnant.
PINK POODLE
Though it looks suspiciously like a rejected Pokemon this one falls on the “normal” side.
PANDLE
Actually kind of cute. Unfortunately as a dog and a panda it can never ever go to China for fear of becoming a delicacy. Okay that is a racist stereotype and a hackneyed joke. I intend to sell it to Jeff Dunham.
RAINBOW POODLE
Rainbow poodle has pride. Though I do not know who the owner is I expect to see Ted Haggard walking one through a San Francisco public park asking for tricks… Both kinds of tricks.
ELVIS POODLE
What better way to show your poodle you love it than shave it to look like the King? Unfortunately much like the real Elvis the poodle also OD’d on a bathroom floor after eating chocolate out of the trash.
CAM-POODLE
Not so bad until of course an Arab midget attempts to mount it. I will resist to urge to make a “poodle toe” joke.
COKE POODLE
Alright this is the poodle I expect to see at all the Hollywood coke parties during the 70’s. It’s like Elton John reincarnated.
SPACE POODLE
Astronomers, Engineers, and Physicists agree… The poodle is perfectly designed for space travel.
THE CUBE-LE
The “cubele” is the most avant garde of the post modernist canine breeds, often can be found running away from Yoko Ono.
DRAGON POODLE
Fear his wrath. I can easily see a 40 year old larper trying this… and then getting yelled at by his mom.
UMMMM..ERRR!?
This one is just disturbing, the healthcare industry should really have picked a less disturbing mascot.
PEACKLE
I almost expect singer Bjork to be pulled to a concert by dogsled with a team of these at it’s head. If you like this idea Bjork I’m totally up for making out.
COCKLE
This is literally Micheal Vick’s wet dream, an animal he can enter into both cock and dog fights.
HORSE POODLE
“You are what you eat” has never been truer than here.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST I PRESENT TO YOU….. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA POODLE!
There are really no syllabic words that can describe it.
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